Okay, this is actually what you do if you’re being sexually harassed in any kind of public space. Draw attention to it, preferably pull away and let EVERYONE know that someone is touching you. This will not only get him to get off you but he’ll definitely think about this situation next time he wants to do something like this.
Spreading the word.
My mom and I were talking about this today after hearing about a woman who was molested on a plane who said nothing until she was picked up at the airport by her parents. My mom looked at me and asked what I would do in that situation and I looked her dead in the eye and I told her “it would take me .02 seconds to realize what was going on and yell angrily, and then I would be straight on to bitch slapping him so hard he wouldn’t be able to see the punch I’d throw with the opposite hand”.
She nodded and accepted my salty language like a seasoned sailor.
I’ve had experience with this before, in Prague a group of five girls and I were followed by three men at night. After a while they started yelling at us, the most common being “how much?” Meaning how much we “cost” as prostitutes. Seeing as they weren’t going to stop, I turned on my heel, faced them (which surprised them), spat at their feet and responded with “You couldn’t afford me.” This prompted the other girls to start yelling back at them as well, starting with our spitfire Czech friend to start slinging curses in Czech as she and the rest of the girls came up beside me. Needless to say the men backed off and pretty much fled. They weren’t expecting a fight. It empowered me and encouraged the rest of the girls to yell back too.
I’ve heard that a lot of people don’t know what to do in this situation because they’ve been taught all their lives to be polite and non-aggressive. Keep your heads down or whatever.
Keep in mind that studies have shown that rapists look for victims who won’t fight back.
Remember that nobody has the right to touch you without your consent or harass you, and you have all the right to make the biggest fuss about it that you can possibly make.
Get angry. Be in command.
It’s a common theme across the majority of cultures that protecting ones ‘face’ (not your actual face, but your self as in how you’re viewed) is one of our highest subconscious priorities.
Calling someone out in public for bad behaviour is the quickest way to nip 9/10 situations in the bud. Most people will be mortified, they’ll be embarrassed, they’ll be panicked because they probably weren’t expecting anything other than quiet submission.
Be bold and be brave, because we live in a world where most people don’t expect it ergo we can take advantage of it.
/POWER IN TALK, 3RD YEAR LINGUISTICS MODULE
A few months ago I had an older man sit very closely to me on the train. I was wearing shorts at the time & my legs were exposed. He seemed to be sitting really close to me, so I scooted over so there was a gap between us. He moved over. I scooted over some more. He kept scooting over towards me until I had nowhere to go & his hand was near my leg. Before he got off of the train he put his hand on my thigh & held it there for about 5 minutes before getting off of the train.
It might sound like nothing, but it was terrifying. It was terrifying to the point where I felt like I was paralyzed. I was absolutely FURIOUS, nearly foaming at the mouth, but nothing inside me could function properly. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak. The guy sitting across from me looked up, spotted the other guy’s hand on my thigh then looked back down at his phone. I remember staring at him hoping HE would say something, but he didn’t.
I have read all of the advice. I was even brought up to always stand up for myself. I even imagined what I would do in that situations, but the reality was, I was too afraid to do anything. I regret it immensely & I felt helpless afterwards, like there was nothing I could do to change or fix what had happened. All I can really do now is to urge anyone who is in this situation OR anyone who sees this happening, to dig deep, to find the courage to say SOMETHING, unlike I did. Make that motherfucker stop! It is NEVER OKAY for anyone to touch you without your permission.